Dearest Family and Friends,
It's amazing to me that every week is a great week. It truly is. Every week is amazing!! I am just soooooo happy to be a missionary. Honestly.
Language.....so one of my biggest trials on my mission has been gaining the trust/attention/approval of all the people I teach. It's really hard to have a fluent companion, because the people we teach always choose to talk to her because it's much easier for them. I have this BURNING desire to teach and help, but it's hard, and a lot of people don't give me the chance. I've been praying for strength to either learn the language, be patient with myself, or be happy with where I'm at. In a lesson this last week, the lady we were teaching told me how bad my accent was, how I didn't talk clearly....blah blah blah, and she praised my companions. I was feeling really discouraged. The lesson was absolutely amazing, but my anger and frustration about her comments prevented me from feeling the spirit and recognizing it as a good lesson. I learned that day that I need to STOP worrying about myself. Who cares if it isn't perfect? If Heavenly Father wanted me to be fluent right now....I would be. But, I don't need to be. My work right now does not require me to be perfect in the language. It was SUCH a great learning experience for me. I just need to be proud of what I have done, recognize the people that are proud of my efforts, and forget about everything else. So that was one of my grand lessons learned this week. :)
Knocking....so knocking was one of my least favorite things on this mission, until this last week. We went to this apartment complex that Walter suggested to us, and we knocked at least 3 buildings, and got 11 return appointments. I was feeling so pumped! We went back for the return appointments....and none were there, or they acted like they'd never seen us and sent us away. It was super discouraging....but then we found this one genuine guy who really appreciated us being there, and really wants us to come back...for real. I realized at that moment that it is SOOO worth it to knock 200 doors to find that one person who is ready....that one golden person. I feel like this whole week for me has just been a huge learning experience. I have SO much that I need to learn, and Heavenly Father is really helping me.
Working Hard....so I got really sick this last week. We had to stay in for the whole day. I felt so unproductive. I decided to work SUPER hard the next day to make up for staying in for a day. We did our weekly planning that day, and we were really struggling to find answers for our investigators....especially Walter. We got down on our knees and just prayed for him. After the prayer, we all just looked at each other and didn't know what to do. So, we continued planning. Then, I remembered I had forgotten to tell SIster Stewart about something Walter said in a lesson while she was on exchanges....I started telling her, and then we realized that was the answer we needed. We realized that his wife was holding him back. He doesn't want to make commitments because she isn't doing it with him, and he feels bad progressing in the gospel when his wife isn't there with him. We knew Heavenly Father had given us that answer. It was absolutely incredible!! We called a lot of people after that and scheduled a ton of appointments for the next week. I honestly believe that those miracles came because all three of us strived really hard to be exactly obedient and work hard. The Lord really does prepare His children AND His missionaries. We weren't ready all those times when Walter cancelled....we needed to discover his needs first, and Heavenly Father only told us when we were ready to listen. So, that was lesson number 3. :) We then had an amazing lesson with Walter. We stressed the importance of the Book of Mormon, and how this Gospel will bless his family. He actually listened in the lesson....which is rare. ;) It was so amazing to see how the Lord gives us inspiration to help teach His children. :)
Women's Conference......wow. It was SO incredibly amazing!! I came prepared with 3 questions, and all of them got answered PERFECTLY. This church is absolutely incredible. We are so lucky to be lead by a living prophet today, and apostles. We are so lucky. This church truly is incredible, and I am SO glad that I am a part of it. One of the ladies talked about how we need to wear the name of Christ in our hearts....I was thinking about how lucky I am to have his name actually written on my nametag. I thought to myself that I only had 15 months left to represent Jesus Christ.....what am I going to do about it? That conference definitely made me think. I just learned SO much this week. It was amazing!!!!!
Sunday.....so this Sunday was definitely the most disappointing so far. Walter didn't come to church again. It just makes me so sad. I don't even think I could describe the heartbreak I feel. I know how much this Gospel blesses my life, and I want the same for him. Why doesn't he just come???? It kills me. We didn't have any investigators come to church. It was just a bummer SUnday. Then I decided I needed to stop being depressed about it, because that's what Satan wants, and I need to focus on what DID happen on Sunday. We had 3 less actives come....less actives who hadn't come for a LONG time. It was amazing!! Ana and her kids are still coming. One of the members of the branch presidency bought Edwin a suit so he could look nice on Sunday. Holy cow!!! Amazing. Us misisonaries got to teach the primary because all the leaders had a special class, so that was way fun!! There are SO many blesssings around you....you just have to choose to focus on them. Walter didn't come.....but Hermana Castaneda's VERY less active son DID....and her heart is breaking because he doesn't come to church. I am sure that was a huge blessing for her. Why wasn't I joining in her happiness? I need to focus on what DOES happen.
Well, Heavenly Father really taught me a WHOLE lot this week. We may not have had a whole lot of "success" as people would call it....but I certainly grew. I am certainly ready to go out and work hard with a better attitude. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and all He teaches me. I hope you all have an amazing week! Thanks for the prayers and support!